Participant in the 2022 US Amateur at Ridgewood Country Club
I am the Bank's Open Guy

To the tune of if you like Pina Coladas

…I was tired of my golf friends
We'd been together too long
Like a shitty made cocktail
their games weren’t very strong

… So while they stood there talking
I read to grass clippings website
And in player application
There was this team worth stalking

… If you like transfusions
And makin’ birdies in bunches
If you're not into bogeys
If you don’t throw punches
If you like lightin up a stogey
at Rolling Hills
Then I'm the stick that you've looked for
draft me for the thrills

… I didn't think about my golf friends
I know that sounds kinda mean
But me and my old golf friends
Had fallen into the same old dull routine

… So I wrote the commissioner
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad